Pastors are experts at preaching for Christ, leading for Christ, structuring ministries for Christ, and working for Christ. Far fewer know how to simply be with Christ. That gap became unmistakable to me when I realized I did not need another ministry technique. I needed the ministry of Jesus. In 2002, six months before leaving vocational ministry for what became a two-year, four-month sabbatical, I was repeatedly drawn by the Holy Spirit to John 15. What began as an occasional visit became a daily practice.

At first, I believed I was mining the chapter for future sermons. I had preached John 15 countless times and taught through it in both Bible studies and leadership meetings, so I knew the chapter well. Looking back, I see that I was reading it differently than I ever had before. I was no longer reading it as a pastor preparing to preach. I was reading it as a disciple desperate to know what was left when ministry was gone. My questions shifted from ‘How do we lead?’ ‘How can we grow?’ ‘How do we become more effective?’ to ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I here?’ ‘How do I abide in Christ?’

John 15 became the center of my devotional life for over three years. Pages of my journals were filled with notes. My Bible grew ragged from frequent use and stained with many tears. During those years, I worked as a utility contractor, installing and cleaning septic tanks. Looking back, it was a humbling season of life, and God used it to teach me what Jesus meant when He commanded us to ‘Abide in Me.’

John 15 takes place on the evening before Jesus was crucified. He knew what was coming, and His disciples were about to enter a season of fear, confusion, and loss. Instead of leaving them with a how-to leadership guide for tough times, Jesus leaves them with Himself. ‘I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.’ At once simple and life-altering, those words changed my view of ministry. Throughout the Old Testament, God’s people, Israel, were described as His vine. Yet despite centuries of divine care, they had produced little spiritual fruit. Jesus goes on to declare that He is the true Vine. In Him, we find life and true fruitfulness.

For years, I viewed much of my life through the lens of ministry. The ministry had given me an identity, purpose, and routine. When those things were taken away during my time away from ministry, what was left was Christ. That became the central lesson of my sabbatical: ministries rise and fall. Churches go through seasons of blessing and seasons of difficulty. Seasons of opportunity come and go. But the Vine remains constant. 

Jesus goes on to introduce the Father as the Gardener. Every branch that bears fruit, He says, will be pruned. Most of us are quick to pray for fruitfulness, but who wants to pray that God would prune them? In retrospect, I see that many of the ‘losses’ I experienced were actually the pruning hand of God at work, removing unhealthy ambitions, exposing idols, and redirecting my understanding of ministry and success. His pruning cuts were never meant to punish us. They are intended to purify. 

And then comes the heart of the passage: ‘Abide in Me, and I in you.’ Everything else Jesus says in this chapter flows from that one command. The vine, branches, pruning, fruitfulness, and the gardener all converge on one truth: our lives are meant to be lived in intimate connection with Christ. That is the central claim of John 15.

For much of my ministry, I knew how to prepare sermons, lead meetings, counsel families, cast vision, delegate responsibility, and bear responsibility. John 15 forced me to ask a harder question: Did I know how to simply abide in Christ? A branch does not generate its own life. It receives what it needs from the vine through an abiding connection. Remove that connection, and the branch dies. John 15 reminded me of that fact in ways that were both humbling and liberating. Humbling because it reminded me that I am not the source of anything. Liberating because I no longer had to act as if I were.

We pastors often struggle with the belief that fruitfulness depends on us: attendance numbers, budgets, staff, buildings, and success. So many external measures that we allow to dictate our view of ministry and faithful stewardship. Jesus shifts our gaze from performance to relationship. Branches do not strive to produce fruit. They produce fruit because they abide in the vine.

On a Sunday while preaching through Ephesians 4, I realized how John 15 had shaped my understanding of pastoral ministry. Christ gives apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers for the equipping of the saints. For years, I tried to shoulder responsibilities God never intended me to bear. I believed it was my responsibility to ensure that everyone under my care grew spiritually. The Bible released me from that belief. God has called me to shepherd his people faithfully, equip them with sound teaching, and abide in Christ. Ultimately, spiritual growth is in God’s hands. 

Realizing that changed my outlook on ministry. Before we can accomplish anything in ministry, we need to be close to Christ. The shepherd's call is first one of proximity, not productivity. That is the central issue. Ministry flows out of who we are in Christ far more than out of what we do for Christ.

Jesus goes on to teach that abiding affects every area of our lives. It will transform our prayers, mold us into the character of Christ, and reorder our priorities. Most importantly, it will transform our understanding of fruitfulness. The kind of fruit that pleases God is not primarily numerical church growth or programmatic success. Fruit that honors God is the life of Christ expressed through those He loves: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

‘As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you. Abide in My love.’ John 15 is full of important teaching, but before Jesus instructs His disciples on how to respond to Him, He reminds them of one thing that never changes. They are loved. Often, ministry leads us to base our identities on our performance. Jesus grounds our identity in something far greater than anything we do: love.

While I pondered these truths over the years away from vocational ministry, I came to see that abiding is neither lazy nor passive. It is active, lived out by trusting, surrendering, obeying, and depending on Christ. These are not burdens we are called to take on in addition to ministry. They are the very life through which ministry flows.

Jesus ends this passage with a promise of joy. How strange that He should speak of joy on the night before His greatest suffering. The joy Jesus speaks of comes not from favorable circumstances but from abiding in the Father. Pastors can enter ministry with joy, only to have it drained by the pressures of criticism, church conflict, fatigue, and disappointment. Jesus leads us back to the source. Our joy is not found in the success of ministry but in an intimate relationship with Christ.

What began as a daily reading became one of the greatest lessons of my life. Ministry is important. Calling matters. Being fruitful in ministry matters. But none of these will endure unless we learn to abide in Christ. I believe pastors and ministry leaders need to ask not ‘What can I do for Christ?’ but ‘Am I abiding in Christ?’ That is the shepherd’s first calling. Before we can shepherd God’s people well, we must first learn simply to be with the Chief Shepherd.